A Short Jewish Poem by a Short Jewish Poet (a prayer poem)
dear ggggod
tell me why being queer feels like
being born from a gravestone, cccccemetary, my homeland,
not israel, not gan eden, but the
place where my ancestors lie,
burnt at the stake like a bundle
of sticks--ffffaggot.
dear gggggod,
tell me why the spaces in between
the words at davening
feel like missed bullets, aimed by
the angels, aiming for my
queer little heart, every time
i read vvvvayikra i stumble,
i fall, ggggggod good
gggod,i fail
to understand
why
you
afflicted
me with
this
strangeness, they used to call it happy but i do not feel joy associated
when my heart flutters when i
kiss a girl, i feel dread, because
am i part of your chosen nation
if i have been chosen for the wrong? dear ggggod good,answer me
from on high, please, why, why
why can’t i be normal? why can’t
i be like everyone else, ssssstraight, why did you make me like this, why
did you make a mmmmistake,
the empty spaces between the tombstones feels like my home,
the plots feel like footsteps,why
are all my contemporaries dying, gggod? why are you killing them? ggggggod,
please tell me why i am like this,
why i was raised in a ggggraveyard,
why i feel like my life has a specific
end date, why i feel like my gender isn’t something that i own
but a language i am struggling to
learn, why my sexuality is a debate
amongst my family and friends, why
my school is considered the most progressive of its kind but we still
aren’t allowed to have a gay straight alliance, ggggggod please, answer, break your seventeen year old silence from me,
answer me, gggggod, gggod,
god,
please
answer me